Levers of a great Conflict Management.
During my college days, I used to have a strong desire to drive a car. One day, with a strong push from my friend and his instructions, I took the car out and drove it for a couple of kilometres.
The ride was bumpy but exciting for a while. Later, when I had to negotiate the traffic, anxiety took over my excitement. There were too many things to focus on. The grand adventure ended when I pressed the accelerator instead of the brake. It was such a disaster and an embarrassment. You can imagine the rest.
For over a month after the incident, I could not bring myself to think of the adventure. However, I reflected on the situation and thought about the key aspects of safe and confident driving. I figured that:
- We need to have a firm control over the clutch. It has to be extremely smooth while starting the car. If not, you will have a jerky start and it takes away half the confidence.
- We need to know the boundaries and maintain a safe distance.
- We need to be able to park the car in reverse gear and push it through narrow gaps between two vehicles. Obviously without touching any of them.
- We need the required skills and courage to climb over a steep road during a peak traffic.
- You need to have a sense of terrain and adjust your behavior accordingly.
If you don’t master these five situations, the rest of your driving skills will not matter. The ride will always be bumpy. It will be full of anxiety, fear, and frustration. Sometimes it could even lead to road rage.
Had I not reflected on this and taken corrective steps, it could have become my weakness. The fear would have turned into a monster phobia.
But well, why are we discussing driving?
Like driving, communication also has similar key levers. Your ability to manage conflicts, negotiate and persuade people in various situations determines your mastery over communication sense.
If you manage these well, you will be able to navigate through any situation with ease. It improves your relationships and productivity. You will have a strong influence and many followers. You can almost eliminate stress and anxiety from your life.
Look at the developed countries. Despite so many advancements, most people convert a simple argument into a big fight and end up feeding the attorneys.
Some cities are full of underdeveloped humans. A simple disturbance on the road could turn into road rage and result in causalities.
But why do people do that? They cannot operate their clutch. So the first conversation is jerky. They don’t have a sense of the terrain. They pick up fights at any place, anytime. They cannot drive through steep roads and navigate critical conversations. They cannot negotiate the situation or reverse their gears.
You need to maintain the right balance. It is particularly critical during the growing phases of the career. Too much involvement in conflicts may earn you the label of being a ‘bad person.’ If you don’t express your feelings, you will suffer from resentment and frustration, and eventually implode.
You need to reflect on this and take the corrective steps. Otherwise, it will become a significant weakness. The fear will transform into a monstrous phobia.
You may be triggering many conflicts unknowingly. Your ability to sense and douse them will give you a lot of power. The world’s most enormous fires could be extinguished with two mugs of water if detected at the right time.
Fortunately, there are ways. The pros have mastered conflict management. That’s why they are pros.
Let’s suppose your mother-in-law gifted you a high-end sports car. You want to test its limits on an empty highway. What will enable you to zoom your car faster?
- Empty roads
- Wide and empty roads
- Wide smooth and empty roads
- Wide smooth and empty roads with no police checks
- The sports car on a wide flat and empty road with no police checks
- All of the above
- None of the above
None of the above. Sounds counter-intuitive but it’s the brakes that help you accelerate. Without brakes, you will not muster the courage to cross even 20mph.
Conflict management is like a brake for communication skills. Without the ability to resolve the conflicts, you cannot advance in communication. You can continue to go ahead at top speed but you know what happens when the brakes are absent.
Take our personality development course, The Growth Quotient. In this course, we have explained the need for self awareness and personality profiling to explore ourself. Conflict Management is a key step in personality development process.
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